...of forgiveness and forgetfulness

First forgiveness doesn't mean pretending something didn't happen. It doesn't mean turning yourself to a doormat and get hurt time and again.

It isn't a lot of things but it is letting go of feelings of anger, resentment or hurt you might feel towards a person. It is giving up claim for the wrong done to you and the apology you expect to happen, but it never does.

Most often than not, forgiveness is a gift to oneself. When you forgive, you do yourself a favour. There's a load of health benefits attached to it. When you bear grudges, there's also a load of 'benefits' attached to it as well. Sometimes forgiveness is also about you. Learning to forgive yourself. When you don't forgive yourself, how then do you forgive others? Always replace anger with compassion. And understand why the one you are forgiving did what he did.

The term "forgive and forget" has been erroneously equated with the Holy Bible(or is it?) Or maybe those who use the term really have not grasped the meaning. Not to forget doesn't mean to bear grudges.  It simply means for you to retain the lesson learnt and not hold on to resentment or pain. When you remember the lesson, you will not give room to be hurt a second time.

Forgiveness is like a soothing balm. When truly you forgive, you will have no place for hatred and even if the desire to be vengeful shows up, you will be wise enough not to cave in. A whole lot of evil cooks up in the bosom of hatred and none of it is healthy for you.

When next someone hurts you, forgive them. Better still, learn to forgive far before you are wronged. It is doable. Forgive, someday, you might also be in need of being forgiven yourself.

Xoxo.